What does this say about me?

When I was in high school, I remember our English teachers having us analyze books. We were to analyze what the author really meant when he or she wrote about persons, places, or things. It was like we were supposed to dive into this dead author's head and figure out what he or she really meant. A question I always had (besides - WHY do we have to do this), was - did the author actually mean the reader to analyze their work to this level? When he/she wrote about a cat - did it really symbolize the demise of the current times and the world was coming to an end? Or did he/she just want to write about a cat?  It was like we were told to play a psychiatrist and analyze on a way deeper level - even if it wasn't necessary or what was originally intended. What is the purpose? Why can't we just enjoy the book? Does my lack of interest make me less intellectual? Does it matter that I DON'T CARE??

So, what is the real point of this rant? I am now having to do that stupid analyzing that I did in HS English classes with music theory on a graduate level. Instead of dead authors, I am analyzing dead composer's works. Instead of words, I am analyzing chords. Guess what...I really can't stand it. I do it, because just like in HS - I have to. I just want to enjoy the music. I just want to think, "Wow, that was interesting." I don't care what type of chord the composer uses. It doesn't change my life. It doesn't make me think differently. I just DON'T CARE. Does this make me less of a musician? Does this make me less intellectual? No. It doesn't. 

I know that all I have been doing lately is complain about music theory. I just feel like I am being made to really care about something that I can't stand. I hate analyzing something like this. I always have. It doesn't make me less smart, it doesn't make me less of a musician. Sure, I can fake my way through it - but that doesn't mean it is easy or the least bit enjoyable for me. I am almost done with my review course for music theory. I thought I was doing well and going to make it through OK, but I have hit a major wall. I honestly do not think I can do the full on graduate course of this. 

Don't worry, I know that I will do it. Again, because I have to. Will I feel satisfied at the end? Maybe, but only because I can shut it out of my life forever.

So what does all of this say about me? That I don't like to look at things on a deeper level? I disagree. I love having intelligent conversations and I enjoy thinking on a higher level. I am smart and I am not going to let stupid music theory convince me otherwise. Now your turn: Analyze this entry and tell me what I really meant. 

Is it July yet?