Bonk

Bonk = running term: hitting a wall mentally or physically and your body not responding how you think it should. Aka: failed run.

Ok, first, this isn't a pity post or anything like that. I'm definitely not looking for sympathy, but will always welcome support. :)

I'll just say it, today's training run was HORRIBLE. Horrible, horrible, horrible! For those of you that don't know and for any of you who may care, I have decided to run the Portland Marathon on October 10th. After questioning ever racing the distance again at the end of my last marathon in June, I decided to sign up for one more to see if I could end well. I was so frustrated with hitting a mental wall at mile 19. I really do want to see if I can surpass that.

Another thing that helped sway me to run Portland was an article in a running magazine I read. It was the first article I read after my last race. The article began talking about the authors extreme disappointment in her last marathon. She thought she had trained hard, but apparently not "hard enough." (my interest was piqued) The article then went on about how this particular runner switched training plans, found some great coaches/encouragers, and raced the next marathon in under 4 hours. Her previous time was my exact time in the last marathon: 4:11:30. Her goal is my ultimate goal - to break 4 hours. Oh, and her name is Sarah and she lives in Oregon. What?!?!?! No, I'm serious - and the article isn't about me...yet. :)

That article (which honestly lays open on my bedside table at all times) and the encouragement of my running partner gave me the courage to face my fears and sign up for Portland. Of course, a week later, my trusty and wonderful running partner gets injured. Fantastic. After bone scans, endless hours of icing her leg, massages, and meticulous care, she is still planning on running the race, however she has altered her training plan. Upon discussion, we agreed that I would continue with the specific plan that accompanied the now infamous article in my magazine designed to break 4 hours.

So, I've been training. I haven't strayed from that plan in the slightest. Every run has been exactly what it is "supposed" to be: hills, intervals, speed, tempo, etc. I have hit the pace marked for each day, although I haven't always felt great at the end of the workout. I have been impressed with my progress and a little encouraged each day that I might actually hit my goal. >Side note: I have actually adjusted my finishing goal to this: I'll be happy with 4:08, I'll be happier with under 4:05, and I'll be thrilled with 3:59:59. < When training for a marathon or endurance race, the longest runs (or rides, etc.) are on the weekends. Today I had a 20-mile run with a fast finish. I was supposed to run the first 18 at a 9:52 pace and then finish the last two miles between an 8:30-9 minute pace. I did this fine on last week's 18-miler and although I wasn't necessarily looking forward to the run, I expected to do the same with this weeks run. (FYI: at the marathon I need to run a 9:09 pace for 26.2 miles to hit my ultimate goal)

By now you've probably realized that I didn't reach my goal today. Perhaps it was the opening paragraph that clued you in. :) Oh, today's run may have been one of the worst training runs I have ever had. I hit a mental wall at mile 10 (yikes!! That is WAY too soon to hit any type of wall!!!) and seriously SERIOUSLY considered calling Justin to come pick me up. I just wanted to quit. Instead, I stopped and called Amy (my running partner). Through tears I told her that although she wasn't out there running with me at the moment, she is still my partner and needed to encourage me. :) She did, giving me the excellent reminder that there is always a bad run during training, and I kept slogging along.

At mile 18 I did pick up my pace...however much I could...and decided to call Justin to have him meet me at my finish spot (a block from our house) with Ellie and gateorade. The last mile of my run I was able to run at a 9 minute pace. I was amused when the song "At Last" played as I finished the very last portion of the run and then I burst into tears when I saw Justin waiting for me. I must have been quite the sight! People in the cars driving by must have thought, "Look at the crazy, ridiculously sweaty lady running with her face contorted and tears running down her face" UGH!!

But, I made it to the end. I didn't quit. And I downed a giant bottle of gateorade in about 1 minute flat. Honestly, I don't see how I am going to hit any of my finish goals. Today I wouldn't have finished close to my last race finish time. It really makes you question what the heck you're doing when you're out there and just simply want to be sitting on the couch at home along with most everyone else in the city.

So, I bonked. Failed run indeed! What do I plan on doing? Taking tomorrow off (as indicated in my plan) and starting back up for another week of 45 miles on Monday. I'm definitely not a quitter. I have too much guilt! I'll run it, but I'll need encouragement. If you can and are interested, come to Portland on October 10th to cheer me on. I can't quite express how much it means to have someone clap for you or shout your name along the race course. A marathon is as much mental as it is physical. Everyone hits walls - even elite runners. It is a challenge of overcoming that. That's my goal. Oh, and to run in it in under 4 hours. :)