Yeah, What He Said...

It's been a month since the second part of Justin and my "adventure" began. I am sure you can imagine, but many, many, MANY emotions have taken place in these days. Yes, it's been a month, but really - it's been almost 3 months since this entire thing began. I have really struggled with so many feelings during this time. Never before, in the 14 years of our relationship, have we been through anything like this. And, for those people who say, "oh, 6 months - that's not bad!" or " you only have a little over 3 months left, that's not long!" - I have many things l'd like to share and say to you. But, I won't, because I'm working on those emotions too. However, if you see me twitching, just back away slowly and leave me alone for a little bit. It's the best for everyone. :)

Anyway, we have said from the beginning that we know that Justin joining the Guard is God's Will. Honestly, we do. Unfortunately, that also means this "adventure". It has been the far opposite of easy and most days I struggle deeply with an array of emotions. However, I know God is good and faithful.

Today I did my bible study for church and decided to pull out "My Utmost for His Highest" by Oswald Chambers (edited by James Reimann) and read today's devotion. I haven't read from this book forever and was amazed how the words articulated exactly what I think is going on in our lives right now. Even copying this down to send to Justin and put on here brought chills to me, because it resonates deeply with how I'm feeling right now. Funny how God works. :) So, if you're wondering, "How's Sarah doing...really doing?" Here's your answer.

The Way to Permanent Faith

"Indeed the hour is coming...that you will be scattered..." (John 16:32)

Jesus was not rebuking the disciples in this passage. Their faith was real, but it was disordered and unfocused, and was not at work in the important realities of life. The disciples were scattered to their own concerns and they had interests apart from Jesus Christ. After we have the perfect relationship with God, through the sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit, our faith must be exercised in the realities of everyday life. We will be scattered, not into service but in the emptiness of our lives where we will see ruin and barrenness, to know what internal death to God's blessings means. Are we prepared for this? It is certainly not of our own choosing, but God engineers our circumstances to take us there. Until we have been through that experience, our faith is sustained only by feelings and by blessings. But once we get there, no matter where God may place us or what inner emptiness we experience, we can praise God that all is well. That is what is meant by faith being exercised in the realities of life.

"...you...will leave Me alone." Have we been scattered and have we left Jesus alone by not seeing His providential care for us? Do we not see God at work in our circumstances? Dark times are allowed and come to us through the sovereignty of God. Are we prepared to let God do what He wants with us? Are we prepared to be separated from the outward, evident blessings of God? Until Jesus Christ is truly our Lord, we each have goals of our own which we serve. Our faith is real, but it is not yet permanent. And God is never in a hurry. If we are willing to wait, we will see God pointing out that we have been interested only in His blessings, instead of in God Himself. The sense of God's blessings is fundamental.

"...be of good cheer, I have overcome the world" (16:33). Unyielding spiritual fortitude is what we need.